Eliza Kate: October 2008

Scott wrote this to friends who are expecting a baby girl next month.

20 things I bet you didn’t know about the baby to be. Or maybe you do, but I sure didn’t.

1) Your baby can’t smile or laugh for several weeks after birth. HOWEVER, your baby will dream while sleeping from the very first night and will laugh out loud in her dreams. If you’re like me you will wake up to make sure she is still breathing, then sit up the rest of the night wondering what on earth could be so funny to a baby who hasn’t even logged 24 hours out of the womb.

2) The Muconium—you’re apparently already acquainted—is a lot less frightening than it sounds. It is, however, impossibly sticky. You will have to work very, very hard to wipe it off your baby’s bottom. Be prepared, and don’t be afraid to be abrasive. You think you’re going to hurt her. You won’t. Mike: this is probably your job, since we all know you’re never afraid to be abrasive.

3) Our hospital still serves the Enchirito. Part Enchilada, part Burrito, all delicious. This will probably not be the case for you.

4) Her eyes don’t work for weeks after birth. This is totally disconcerting, and totally normal. Even after she begins to smile—and it happens sooner than you think—her eyes will float around in their sockets like the message in the Magic 8 ball. She is not possessed.

5) The swaddling cloths the hospital uses are shockingly soft and soothing despite hundreds of washings in industrial-strength bleach I (think? hope?) they were subjected to. You will be very grateful for this fact.

6) I am sure I do not need to tell you that the experience post-childbirth is radically different from what you have been led to believe. The most striking example of this is how quickly they will take your child away from you after she is born. No hearts, no flowers, just a trip to the Nursery and a date with a series of needles. For her, not for you. Make sure Mike goes with her, by the way, since the Nursery was where I first fell in love.

7) Contrary to popular belief, you will not be tired at all for the first week. Adrenaline is a welcome companion, and makes you very clear of head in the wee hours. No matter how much sleep you lack, you’ll be fine.

8) Also contrary to popular belief, it gets harder, not easier, after that first week. The adrenaline stops working, and all of a sudden you cannot function normally. The second week sucks enormously.

9) All babies look like boys in their first several months. No matter how you doll her up, everyone will call your baby “he”. We had our daughter in a pink sweatshirt, with a big red heart on it and the name “Eliza” in large block letters, and a Slavic woman walked up to me and announced sonorously, “The son looks just like the Father. You are proud”. I was.

10) The baby loses about 15-20% of her weight in the 2-3 days after birth. It then takes many weeks for her to regain that lost weight. I am amazed that people who have been through this process (ie, mothers) do not know this simple fact. If you are breast feeding someone will certainly ask you whether you are starving your child and shouldn’t think about switching to a bottle. You know, because “you can tell that she’s getting her food”. Be prepared.

11) Speaking from experience, leave a clean house before you go to the hospital. It will be the last time you have a clean house for months.

12) Also, when you get home from the hospital, make sure you have plenty of food in your apartment that you can eat with one hand.

13) For several weeks after we left the hospital I washed my hands every time I touched my daughter, both before and after--just to be sure, you know. I am now sure I am an idiot for doing so. However, I am not sure that it didn’t help.

14) Your single most important relationship is between you and your daughter’s pediatrician. Interview several--a patient bedside manner is almost more important than competence. I am serious about that--you will want to call every time she sniffles. And you SHOULD. Do not let a recalcitrant doctor dissuade you from doing so. I cannot stress this enough.

15) Mike, it is Nicole’s job to dress your daughter. And even if she asks you to do so, make sure you get wardrobe approval before you leave the house. Easier that way. Also, Nicole, make sure the diaper bag is properly stocked. We have no earthly idea what should be in there.

16) Her cry changes as rapidly as her body does. The noises she makes at 3 months will be totally different than the ones she makes as a newborn, and so on. They will, however, be just as distressing.

17) The cutest thing your baby will do until she starts laughing is sneeze. You have to see it to believe how ridiculously endearing it is.

18) It will take you at least 30 minutes longer to do anything than it did before you had a baby. The sooner you adapt to that, the better you will be. It is also very surprising how forgiving your friends become as a result.

19) Her belly button will horrify you for a few weeks. Then it will fall off, and that part of her will become just as cute as the rest of her. But, before it does, rest assured: you will have your doubts.

20) So far, the best advice I’ve received is to make a keepsake of a (preferably clean) diaper every time she grows up to a new size. My daughter is already on her third. I am already waxing nostalgic and she hasn’t even hit 6 months yet.

We've been up in New Hampshire visiting with Gramma, Papa Gib and the rest of our East coast family since September 24th. Even Aunt Linda (or Auntie Grandmere) and Uncle Greg and Auntie Meg came up to visit. It's beautiful up here right now and we're having a wonderful time. Eliza is very social and thoroughly enjoys spending time with everyone. We've been spending time with Aunt Becky, Uncle Chris, Aunt Sally, Unce David and family friends EJ, Billy and Alex and their newest addition Gracie the labradoodle. Here are some highlights.
With Gramma at the Airport